Owen and Grace

He sleeps....He sleeps next to me, on my legs, on a pillow next to me. He meows every time he wakes up or stretches. He purrs and just wants to be around where ever I am. I was thinking today of Gracie, his sister. She was tougher to love. She was not as easily won over. She wanted to be invited but not expected to sit near or on top of my stomach. She was the dominant of the two. Owen got on the wrong end of a swipe more than once. She was the loud mouth frog. Every move she made she squaked. She was the smaller of the two. She never weighed more than 8 or 9 pounds. One of my favorite memories is her putting my parents dog, Dudley in his place. She didn't mess around.

I have such guilt about her b/c I know I loved Owen more. He was so much more affectinate. She was so stubburn, that little carrot topped calico cat. I had no idea she was sick and i had no idea putting her down would to this day be the most horrible experience. It isn't that I haven't been through more difficult or more horrible events This one though, was my decision. This was a choice to put her down. Such a nice way to describe death. I keep thinking that having made that choice makes me responsible. I know it was kind intellectually but I will never forget it. I hope she knows how much I did love her. I really did love her. I still cry just thinking about her. I had no idea how attached I had become to my pets. I had no idea it would still hurt so much.