Dr. Botox

Owen and I have some special time scheduled today since I just got back from the Botox Doctor. It is usually such a draining experience that i took a sick day. I got there two hours early today. Yikes. I had a feeling he would take me early once he saw I was there and had made a mistake with the time but I left anyhow. I had gone to a conference yesterday in Lexington, bought all sorts of cool things, but of course left them under my seat......ugh. No luck. At least I checked though. I had to give myself credit for this.

Went back to the office and he came down right away to see me. I am doing everything right. I need to swim more. Everything though is A OK. A chill ran up my spine. No more Dr. Botox. I had gotten used to his lack of bedside manner and pep talks he would give to me. He saw my surprise and said ok well come back in 3 months to check in with me. Lets take a look at your walking.

He agreed with my physical therapist that I should increase the lift. The descrepency in the length of my legs has also caused or I had it before....Scoliosis. great another terrific diagnosis. So my muscles in my back are much weaker on my left than my right side. My posture is off. I need to work on that too. I need someone to help me stretch. I have to get a schedule going. He thinks I am doing great. He really enjoys me. Well I enjoy him and now he is leaving me too? So weird that I can hate, and then begin to love after the initial denial is passed that this guy is trying to help me.

Its so much to drink in. I just sat in my car for a while. I am doing great. Its just such a mind shift. I have to do all these things differently now. I can't look back at the exercising that wasn't helping my CP. It just overwhelms and gets me to not go to the gym b.c I am depressed about it.

I am also proud of myself that I am successfully on the second week of the no Jason diet. I don't even read his blog anymore. It is the only thing that has helped me moved forward. I am now such a believer in NC. It just prolongs the pain but its impossible to do unless you know in your heart of hearts that is the only choice that will help you. I am sue I will have tough days but I can't read his blog, I can't contact him. It doesn't hurt that his last message to me was just cold. I hate cold. I need some warmth in my life.

Owen continues to just be my rock. He is always so glad to have me to cuddle next to him. He even allows me to continue to pull out matted fur without too much fuss. Its hard to imagine anything better in a cat.