Atonement

Atonement, reparation for an offense or injury or in this case a beautiful movie. I was so incensed by the wrong committed in this movie. It is awful to accuse and lie. What if one convinces oneself of rightness as in this case. The clues seemed to add up but in fact they did not. Reconciliation reparation such beautiful words but damage is not so easily forgiven. I think that is why grace is such a tough word to wrap my head around. On one hand I want so desperately to be forgiven on the other I don't think I truly deserve it. Maybe that really is the point. Perhaps none of us truly deserve the hands that we are dealt or the forgiveness that so often befalls us from the people with whom we are connected. Maybe we do, though. Isn't that what I wonder as I stay up and think....maybe I really do deserve everything that has happened to me. I just don't or can't accept that. I can't allow that life deals fairly with any of us. Who deserves to be raped, sexually abused by their dad or have their mother taken from them b/c of a drunk driver. That is just absurd I have to say God, all that you allow in this world to happen to children makes my stomach turn. If one more person tries to explain free will to me I am going to gag. I realize I will never have the mind of God but that doesn't mean I can't be completely appauled at your allowing innocence to be perverted in such horrendous ways. I know you love me and you love them and I know your heart must ache more than I can imagine for them. I am just tired of fighting for the voices of those who have lost or think their voice doesn't matter. Please help. Please don't let Evil win so much. Please help me remember that healing is possible and LOVE will prevail over ignorance, selfishness and indifference.