poor owen

Poor Owen, Sarah came over to keep me company since the Botox ordeal. She is allergic so unlike normally Owen was not invited onto the couch to watch the Chick flick with us. It almost made me cry such not something he was/is used to. Sarah is a person I have known for almost 20 years. She was in my youth group. I will never forget the day we were in McDonalds with the group and she asked, "Do you only hang out with those who do drugs?" " No , I responded." What in the world did this nice, together honor student from a good Christian home want with me? This was one of my first lessons in being with people for no other reason but b/c maybe God had put them in your path. Sarah and I have been through more than most. We transitioned from Mentor to friend, we survived my rage after she got into an accident in my car in my condo complex and did not offer to help me pay for it. She worked though being gang raped while on a missions trip. She is now a social worker for the Elderly. She is going to get her masters this next year. She asked me once while in high school should she go psychology or social work I said well if you go SW you can get your BSW and your masters will be only a year vs. two for psych. She took my advice and now is flourishing in her career. She is one of the biggest joys of my life other than Owen. It makes me feel that all my commitment to people and young people made a difference. She now is in a situation where she helps me after my own weakness. We worked though the things I didn't think we could manage. She makes me feel like maybe I have something to offer others. Maybe just because I have not had lots of experience with men it doesn't mean I should give up. I have something to offer when it comes to compassion and experience with others. I need to see what others see in me. I need to remember I am not the ugliest ducking in the pond, or the worst person left in the room to dance with. I don't seek pity, I don't expect special treatment, I don't see myself as disabled, I know I am attractive, I am not ashamed to be someone who tries to love God and is thankful for her life most of the time. I need to just find a life for myself that helps me recharge when I am not at work. I need to live a life just as interesting out of work as in work. Please show me how and give me the strength to do so.....amen.